Art: My gift, my religion, my way of life

-Photograph by Janet Gonzalez

-What The Art is That?

Ok, so for many years i've been thinking about blogging, and i couldn't sit down to get to it, so much has been happening in my life, in myself, in the world around me. These days, its hard for me to even sit down to paint, something that comes so easily to my fingers...to my mind...in my dreams. I just turned 30 last month. Here we are a month later, and i still don't believe it...but it's time for me to start to write about everything i am, and everything i bring to the world.

Since i was very little, i have been living in between many worlds. Worlds that i clearly see before me and float into, and this world that i walk in, but sometimes find it hard to channel through. And i find that my artwork is a combination of all of these things.

I say mixed media because to break down my creative process is at times way too long or too much information for most people. And i also wonder how much i have to say about images that people will perceive in their own ways.

What i can say is that the spirit world, that is in coexistence with us, informs my work a great deal. From my paintings to my performance art, many themes of spiritual, cultural, and ritualistic nature are at the heart of the topic.

Things i use to create with:

Acrylic, Water, Oil, Spray paints,Clay, Rhinestones, Wig Heads, Camera, Photoshop, Make-Up, Brushes, Canvas, Canvas Boards, Wood, Paper, Wall, Dry Wall, People, Clothing, Footwear, Etc...basically anything on any surface!

-Mystical Graffiti Bridge:

As a rebel, during my early teenage years, i would tag up around my neighborhood. My tag was PAZE 7C...what the hell that ever meant, lord knows, it just looked nice as a tag. And i had a really nice way of writing it. And as long as it looked good, that was all i was concerned with. I loved graffiti art. Not just people tagging up for the sake of it, but the lettering, the colors, the sharp and bubble formations, the images. I remember thinking of them all as much cooler than the little trees and fruit bowls we were taught to draw or paint in art class in my elementary school. So naturally, i began to create my own interpretations of works using graffiti styles.

-To Drag or not to Drag...No Question

Ok, ok...well, i've always been a drag queen...but i'm not sure i'm like any drag queen you've ever met before...but i could be wrong, since i haven't met too many drag queens outside of their drag personas, or alter egos. I am what some may call "Two-Spirited" meaning that i manifest fully as both male and female, and appear as either at whichever time i feel to whether people are around or not. Although i do have performance as an intention behind how either may manifest, it is not necessary for me to be about to perform in order to "dress up" or get "up in dem" (gay lingo for getting in drag). My main female self is known as Charline, and she goes as far back as my daycare center days. My sister was in an African Dance class, and would come home and teach me the dances. I always longed to be in the classes, but of course i was more interested in how the young girls would move their bodies than in the watered down dance lessons taught to the only 2 boys that would join the class as add ins to accent the girls during their performances. when my sister would teach me the dances, i would hide her in my room, and dress up in her clothing so that i can appear similiar to the girls in class. My sister laughed it off, but saw that i was quite serious about it, and just became used to it. My next time revealing my drag nature was during my drop in center days at Hetrick Martin Institute. Now whats interesting is the reaction that you get from other gay and transgender folk when they discover that you "cross-dress" especially when many of them are interested in you because you usually display a masculine nature. So what ended up happening was that people loved Charly, but hated on Charline...

The true Charline is very different from her alter ego "Charline Elizabeth Baltimore" aka Virtuagurl etc. This name emerged after watching The Long Kiss Goodnight. Her attitude is comprised of what i call "Banjee Cunts" (please don't be offended, thats another one of those gay ghetto terms, lol). Basically women that are from the hood and take on a very strong, aggressive, even masculine persona, pretty and adorned, yet rough around the edges! these were the women i was raised by, my best friends, sisters, godsisters, cousins, and even some who i was punked by coming up all my life. Her look has been pretty much the same throughout the years. She just looks like i would have looked if i was born female, similiar to my mother and sister, long black hair, pretty...not too much make up, and usually wearing pants. Her character takes on their many stories and her upcoming projects will clearly show this.

Two-Spirited is probably not the best terminology for me. I am actually "Multi-Spirited" not to be mistaken with multiple personality disorder...in my case, they're actually in order, and i have become more and more in control of when and how they manifest through me. I primarily present as male, i live my life as a man, and honor my masculinity. This is not an act or a "front", but part of my nature. I however also recognize my feminine self/ves. It is a distinct feeling that overtakes me, a difference in attitude, posture, facial expression, stride, and thought. And she, or should i say they, are their own person. My "personalities" or performance alter egos are related to the many spirit guides that have been with me since i was a child. Who have presented themselves to me through trance, meditation, rituals, and religous ceremonies. They also relate directly to people who i have encountered in my life, and tell the stories of these very different people from very different walks of life. Many of my "characters" have been out and about, and all my names have been known by Family and Friends. And you will get to know them each soon...

Although i don't do it often, because i am such a hermit, painting and creating outdoors is my favorite thing to do. It just gives me a different mood and feeling. It does not bother me that people come to see what i am working on, that actually encourages me to become more detailed, and pushes me to create more because i get positive feedback on my work.

I have so much more to say, but i think that this will be it for today. I have many things to share with you all...the world. Welcome to my world, and hopefully we can teach each other something about making both places more beautiful as time goes on...

Please do leave your comments, they will help me better communicate with you all through this blog...my public journal. :-)

cjdartnow@gmail.com

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